When I was 11yo, a surgeon did extensive research into my anus, rectum and colon. Horrid barium enimas, digital exams, specula exams and LOTS of in-patient psych-exams trying to pry the news out of me. They never got it.

The surgeon back then said I had ample injuries, colonic ulsers and wart-like polyps in and around the anus. (I can actually remember when I felt them form)

Since turning 40, I've been getting the prostate exam digitally. Been avoiding it for the past year. They have also want to do a scope...refused it for years now.

Feeling pain and mass back there now.

Making this appointment will feel like walking into that basement under my own power. And my MD is an eye-roller regarding CSA.