Hi Josh and everyone,

I feel really weird sending a post here. I do have some questions and a story to share. I'm wondering if I should be here or not. Many other guys that I spoke with all told me the same thing, that I am an ASA as well as a CSA. I am really sick beyond sick of having sexual abuse as any part of my life, but I guess I have to accept it, like it or not.

I'm wondering when you have chats about ASA so that I can share what happened to me a few months ago and give me your input about whether I need to be here. I don't really want to post it. I feel stupid, scared and intimidated to post anything. I'm probably in denial because I'm really good at that, but I need to hear it from others here. It's not that I don't trust the other 13 guys who all said that I have recently become an ASA, because I do trust them all. I guess I just don't want to admit it or hear it yet. Maybe you all can help me to see my dilemma the way I am supposed to see it. Please help me to sort this out. I'm sorry that I might be a burden to any of you with my plight. I would appreciate your input, though.