Welcome brother-I read your posts and identify with your pain and confusion-particularly around getting sober and not finding a safe supportive place to talk about the sexual trauma and work thru the shame.
Yet (that's not the way the steps in AA are written-however-we are encouraged to completely review and share with a trusted sponsor or other our stuff. I too found closed doors with regards to talkig about my struggles and regrets and past sexual behavior - I guess lots of men are uncomfortable hearing sharing at this level.
I went off and struggled alone for years with my burdens-please DON'T do that.
The truth WILL SET YOU FREE. You CAN work thru the shame and unbearable pain. Believe me.
And MS is a good place to start and use thr resources here to help fuel and guide your recovery and reclaiming your original self and sexuality. It's a game of offense (growing) and defense (stop escaping/acting out).
The time is yours.
Edited by Mountainous Buck (04/09/12 07:58 AM)
We have to take responsibility for what we're not responsible for.
�It doesn't matter where you've come from,
It matters where you go" Frank Turner