Definitely need two healthy people in the marriage. No marriage is perfect. I am in a very hypersensitive period of healing. My emotions are on the surface. I was told this would happen. I am recalling so many hurtful memories, the abuse and how I have been treated. I was always silenced, but now I hurt from the memories. I cannot stop feeling, singing, yelling and crying. The bad is all pouring out. Tonight the marriage issue hit hard, feeling used and thrown to the side. Yes I yelled the specifics but realize I was not the only one used but the other person will not acknowledge-husband or siblings whose marriage is it- I always was the last in line. I fear the children will have learned this and their spouses will also suffer from this. It is all learned behavior. I cried uncontrollably for my brother tonight feeling my silence about the CSA may have hurt and killed him. I see silence and denial of using people to get their way as part of control. I know I may be too sensitive now, but I am discovering my hurts so I can heal. Marriages that do not share the pain or allow the past or family interference to create gaps and separation are not strong relationships between a husband and wife. Part of healing is to love self and each other. My journey of healing is taking me there, but also making me discover where I ever fit in the marriage.