When I read everyone's comment I hear an expression said to me "you have arrived". It was explained as said I was "unstuck". I now realize emotionally unstuck. Years, decades of pain and hurt and buried and now being allowed to be felt. It is painful but it has given me opportunity to understand who I am. What I feel and see is sad and realize I need to surround myself with good peole who will accept me for whom I am and where I have been.
The hard part the emotions hit uncontrollably. I try to cover with a coughing fit or walking away. The other day I could not control and told someone I never intent to tell I told, they gave me a hug and has been cool about it. No questions just good conversation. Makes me realize there are great people out there.