This is so revealing - both of you!
Here's my take on it from the "Male Survivor" side - just a snip of a post on that forum:
***I’ve been feeling lots of anger recently – because I feel like I am “always” taken advantage of – and I let it happen. I get pretty down on myself – like ever since my earliest years I have been conditioned to submit to abuse and therefore have been used in every other way as well and have no control over what happens. Last week I blew at 3 or 4 different times (very out of character for me!) when other people were demanding that I give in to their lack of planning and responsibility and wanted to make me take the brunt of it and accommodate them at great inconvenience to me. I didn’t “go postal” and I still have my job, but I know I need to work on more controlled and appropriate ways of expressing myself instead of either totally stuffing and acquiescing OR unleashing the “Incredible Hulk”! There must be a middle way... right?***
People used to think i was such a nice guy cuz i "always" did whatever they wanted. But inside i either felt like "what does it matter what i want or think or feel? it's too much hassle to disagree so just make em happy and maybe they'll like me." Or else i was seething from being waslked on "AGAIN!" - but too insecure to let it show.
"the scariest thing about abuse of any shape or form, is, in my opinion, not the abuse itself, but that if it continues it can begin to feel commonplace and eventually acceptable."
- Alan Cumming, "Not My Father's Son"