This is so revealing - both of you!
Here's my take on it from the "Male Survivor" side - just a snip of a post on that forum:
***I’ve been feeling lots of anger recently – because I feel like I am “always” taken advantage of – and I let it happen. I get pretty down on myself – like ever since my earliest years I have been conditioned to submit to abuse and therefore have been used in every other way as well and have no control over what happens. Last week I blew at 3 or 4 different times (very out of character for me!) when other people were demanding that I give in to their lack of planning and responsibility and wanted to make me take the brunt of it and accommodate them at great inconvenience to me. I didn’t “go postal” and I still have my job, but I know I need to work on more controlled and appropriate ways of expressing myself instead of either totally stuffing and acquiescing OR unleashing the “Incredible Hulk”! There must be a middle way... right?***
People used to think i was such a nice guy cuz i "always" did whatever they wanted. But inside i either felt like "what does it matter what i want or think or feel? it's too much hassle to disagree so just make em happy and maybe they'll like me." Or else i was seething from being waslked on "AGAIN!" - but too insecure to let it show.
"My experience has shown me that I all too often tend to deny that which lies behind, but as I still believe, that which is denied cannot be healed." Brennan Manning, "All is Grace - A Ragamuffin Memoir"