Hi Ibcalli,
I presume that this will become very popular thread smile . At least recently there was huge debate on similar issue.
I don't consider my self as gay but nevertheless I have SSA (same sex attraction) and a lot of problems with my intimacy and sex life because of my experience. I can't say 100% if I'm not gay or I'm heterosexual, it is difficult for me to be so precious related to this topic. For me it was extremely helpful reading Ask the Sex Doc - part of discussion board dealing exactly with issues like your thread. I'm even considering when I'll be ready and after some deep thinking about myself to ask some question there.

As I know (and as I've read) it is not possible to change orientation because of CSA.

But we all become more or less confused (sexually) because of CSA and additionally "lost" with ourselves. That means that we use to act against true ourselves (reasons could be different) and our true orientation. We have many difficulties in seeing our confusion in this perspective.
Additionally we are just people with some limits regarding understanding ourselves and others as well. Our view on everything including sexuality is highly dependable on our cultural background and many other traits that we subconsciously apsorbed from our environment during our development. Because of that there are a lot confusions in communication relating this issue, some people (even me sometimes) are not sure what and why they are talking about sexuality. And sometimes it is it is difficult to distinguish real picture in background of such talks. I've found extremely important to understand many different things in first place to be able to discuss this matter.
For example I didn't see difference at all between sexual behavior and sexual orientation. In my "macho" culture there is no difference regarding this and actually that cultural impact additionally confused me. So I have many questions regarding myself: I've used to watch gay porn and sometimes acted as gay and because of my surrounding culture I sometimes taught that I must be gay ("one plus one must equal two"). But my feelings were completely different deep inside and that is confusion... This is just one short example. Question regarding orientation becomes multiple times complicated because of many other important factors which should be properly understood in first place.
With this I would like also to comment your line that: "some people say that CSA makes us like this".
Even in this short sentence there is huge cultural force speaking out (just my opinion) and maybe bringing huge cloud of confusion to be even ticker.
Anyway path to discover our real sexuality including orientation and all other "ingredients" is because of that extremely difficult task and hard work. We have to dig very deep inside. We have to be able to see trough many layers including this cultural one. Deep down, there is our true nature including sexual orientation buried.
I'm still confused with myself but at least I understand some causes of that confusion.
I wish this is helpful.


My story