Hi All,

To PeteN,

First, welcome to MS. I am sorry that you need to be here, but I am glad that you have found us.

I read your post in the other forum. Despite why you were where you were, you never deserved to be raped. NO ONE ever deserves to be sexually assaulted.

To LN3(SS),

I hear your pain and anger regarding the lack of inclusion in the research, the literature and the terminology/ phrases that are commonplace.

When references such as "inner child" are used, I too get angry as it seems that, yet again, the existence of adults (especially adult males) who were sexually abused/ assaulted do not exist.

It is painful to read information that only addresses childhood sexual abuse and does not take into consideration that adult males are not only abused/ assaulted, but they have significant trauma as a result.

Since there is only literature regarding childhood sexual abuse/ assault, that is all we have (for now). I try to take from it what resonates for me, and I do my best to gloss over the references/ terminology that exacerbates our exclusion, rather than our inclusion.

Hopefully sooner, rather than later, ASA issues will be researched and addressed.

In the meantime, you are here with guys who understand.

Even if our issues have not yet been researched in any meaningful way or in a manner which brings to light the prevalence and trauma of adult male sexual abuse/ assault, because the therapeutic community has failed to recognize our existence, we do not have to remain invisible and silent.

We can use our voices to rail against exclusionary language. We can also use our voices to lift the veil of invisibility.

History shows us how many groups who were once invisible, dismissed and neglected. By using their voices to speak against exclusionary terms and practices, those groups have finally found inclusion. One day, we will also be included and there will be adequate resources and acknowledgement of our needs.

Keep talking.

We are listening. We hear your pain and we want to help.

Together we can raise our voices and change the language and terminology to be inclusive, rather than exclusive.


Acceptance on someone else's terms is worse than rejection.