This past Thursday's Victims of Abuse class was so difficult. The teacher showed a film entitled "Scared Silent" narrated and hosted by none other than Oprah Winfrey. I'm thinking of her 200 Men program she did about a year or so ago. I have never watched it, but I know of it. I understand that it was a show that was very supportive of victims. "Scared Silent," for me was the polar opposite. Focusing on the perps the documentary seemed almost sympathetic to them. The victims told their stories but it seemed they were doing that to fill in gaps of information. For the two cases that were incest between fathers and their daughters, the perps kept talking about something "taking over" and making them do what they did, like they were helpless and could not stop it. WTF!?! The strongest message of the film was about healing the perps. It recommends "healing the family." In one case, everyone was in therapy and daddy lived at home with his wife and the daughter he had raped. Dear God! Are these mental health professionals out of their minds?! Seriously, God, tell me something that makes sense out of this approach.

During the screening there was a pint I had to control the tears. Even though we were in the dark, the teacher sat across from me and we were in view of each other. At another point I felt like jumping up, tearing down the screen and screaming, "This is fuckin' bullshit!" Sincerely, I wanted to find those men, hunt them down, and kill them with my bare hands!

Needless to say, by the end of class I was a mess of emotions: anger, rage, sadness, frustration, helplessness.

Anyway, I am more settled down today. Believe me, when this class is over, i'm heading to the bar and tell the bartender to keep lining up the martinis til I pass out.