Thank you Pattycakes for posting this request. I appreciate it because when I first came to, I was terrified for any woman to know what had been done to me as a child. It made me feel like I was less than a man, for a woman to know what had happened. My insecurity I know, not anyone else's problem.

It would freak me out when I was in chat and find out that a woman was in there listening to me speak. I always check every person's profile when I go into chat, to find out something about them before I share, so I will know a bit about them. If I saw that it was a woman, I wouldn't share in chat. My problem, I know. So it would doubly freak me out if I didn't know a person in chat was a woman after I had shared something (because I hadn't seen that they were a woman) and have to leave immediately.

I am 'A OK' with there being women there now that I have some time in recovery. It is no longer triggering for me. So, I know that some newer guys coming in now are feeling this same trepidation as I once did. That is why I would be grateful to women for putting on their "Profile" page that they are female.

Please do not be offended by what I have said. I have only admiration and love for all of you dear Women, for your love, care, and support of us in this terrible ordeal we go through and put you through, often on a daily basis. Without wonderful people like you, we would not have a valuable support person in our lives. Some never get to have a support person in their lives such as you. Thank you so much for all that you put up with; we are not an easy bunch to live with.

take care


paul smile

If you cannot control what happens to you, you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.

~ adapted from: Sri Ram