Have you been able to at least read some of the articles on the MS website about recovery and learning to take care of yourself?
What books have you read about recovery? There are over a dozen good books men here and MS itself recommends at: http://www.malesurvivor.org/adult-survivors.html
There are treatment centers for alcohol, drug, and sex addiction and co-dependency, I"m not sure there are treatment centers for the various issues/consequences of abuse and 30 years of life that you are facing.
I know I got a lot of healing from recovery from sex addiction that taught me intimacy and stopped me piling more shame, remorse, etc. into my life. 12 step groups there helped me.
Reach out for resources and support and keep sharing here and asking for what you need to be healthy and happy. Keep showing up.