Square 1.1 is Square 1 minus the optimism. Here's what I've learned in the past 17 years: I'll never have justice or even revenge. I'll never have acknowledgment or even corroboration. That much I knew at the start, but I've learned that I've got to have at least one of those things before I can get past the terrifying anger and other bad feelings. What to do? At this rate, I doubt I can live long enough to get to Square 1.2.