A friend of mine, John Cowan, a survivor, was given the lyrics to this song in about 20 minutes. It is gut wrenching and heart wrenching and healing and is his story. It is called "Drown" and he courageously put it on his "New Tattoo" CD and available as a download on Amazon:
“Drown” lyrics by John Cowan, music by Darrell Scott
Under the big top the lights go dim
The clowns all hide and the ringmaster grins
His belt was noosed around my wrist
His smile turned in to an angry twist.
Too young to know better just what was wrong.
My insides turned where they didn’t belong
And all I could do was hold back the tears
And wait for his thirst to go back to his beer.
And so another and another and another was made
To slug through this life so alone and afraid.
So I lied and I stole and I ate all I could
Just to have some control---as if I would.
And there I was awful and fat
He said if I told I’d die for that.
Tell me when do the lights leave the gleam in the eyes
Of children molested by men twice their size
Is it the moment of entry, the rush of surprise
Or knowing their lives will only be lies.
I knew there’d be solace as there always will be
For the pit of a soul that’s forever hungry.
A needle a bottle a warm piece of flesh
A return to the thing that always felt best.
And if God is a spirit tell me where does he go
Is he busy with devils confessing their woes?
I guess it’s up to us to find one another
And try and touch souls and try to recover
The lives we’re making all over again
In hope that some child will never again