Hi whome. Thanks for all the help you have given me.
1. He told me of the abuse after I found out about the hooking up with anonymous men, hookers and phone sex. I really don't remember the details as I was in shock and in the midst of trauma. I am sre I didn't react in the exact right way, but let me tell you, shock and trauma. I would have never guessed he would have done the things he had done. It was obvious at that point he had been traumatized. I don't believe a man would ever do these things had he not been traumatized as a child especially when you are in an affectionate, sexual marriage. Only a wounded man would pick those "activities" when he has a willing wife at home.
2. After he quit drinking, and I found out about the sexual dysfunction, yes, I did suspect something was off but I would have never guessed any of this. NEVER!
3. Yes, SA and SAA, after a few years of AA. Start4ed therapy right away but has been slow surrendering to the process. Things seem to be getting better. I have to say seems because after all the trauma, I can't trust my own perceptions anymore. That is one of the most sad things about all of this.
Hope this helps.