I have been having sex with a girl I met not long ago from facebook. I realize after all the tortue I put myself through in questioning my sexuality that I am without a doubt straight. I enjoy sex with women way too much to be anything but. BUT I have also uncovered another type of abuse I suffered as a child that I wasnt aware of. "Emotional incest" at the hands of my mother. I realize my mother had a very sick unhealthy relationship with me. She relied on me to fix her problems, to satisfy her needs while mine were never met. My mother was seductive with me, verbally and physically abusive...creating SEVERE co-dependancy on her with resentment and anger. I noticed That I have replayed that relationship with women over and over throughought my life. So not only was I dealing with my fathers sexual abuse, but my mothers emotional incest. My mother was aggressive, angry, manipulative, cunning, seductive and controlled me like a puppet. I have a love/hate relationship with women...I enjoy sex with women and not just in a control or revenge way but I enjoy womens bodies and just everything girls are all about sexually...BUT Its almost impossible to have an emotional connection that doesnt immeditaly go into a power struggle or co-dependancy.Its a double edged sword. I realize I like and hate girls at the same time...this is why I objectify them...sex is ALWAYS great and I can even connect with them emotionally and intellecutually..but its tough giving and recieveing emotional needs. I feel more comfortable arguing or having power struggles
"What does not kill me makes me stronger"