The following is a letter to the editor of the NY Times and was not written about CSA, but in response to an article discussing privacy vs. secrecy. I read it an immediately thought of us in the CSA family (supporters and survivors).

To the Editor:

Metaphorically, secrecy and privacy meet at a door: on one side is dignity, and on the other, fear. Secrets always live in fear. More practically, the body never lies: if one holds a significant personal secret, the body will experience tension wherever we somatize our fears.

We need only pay attention to our bodies when contemplating the withheld material: if we have a “cramp,” a tightening of the breath, a churning of the stomach, a headache, for example, we are likely motivated by fear. We may have to hold secrets, since our fears may be realistic, but we are better served knowing why we do it in case they are not.

Truro, Mass., Aug. 21, 2011

Wife of a survivor