I realized the word today...the label. Its the label that I missed probably out of subcontious avoidance. So many posts here in F&F and elsewhere describe the surprise we spring on our loved ones, employers, friends, etc. We did what we thought was right. We did what we thought we needed to do to survive. We were dealt the hand we have. We HAVE the hand we were dealt, and nothing more. Were we to lay-down and die? Some of us did that (some say 50% of us die). To survive, we need radical tachtics that allow us to move, act and survive similar to the normals. We have to become imposters. We become imposters in so many modes and settings. We are thought of as found-out imposters by our spouses and F&F as soon as we disclose.
I don't think its a character flaw, but its a label that stings terribly. It stings all those who are involved.
I'm sorry to all those I stung as the imposter I am. I had no right. There's no place for the rejects, and I think the millions of victims who don't disclose know this very well.