You sound very brave to me, this is a difficult thing to contemplate, much less do. Being sexually abused is'nt easy for anyone and the experience you had sounds especially difficult.

As something that may help your recovery, when the time is right, I hope you'll be able to make the trip.

If or when it does, please, have a good plan, be safe and have supportive people who are easily accessible.

A few years ago I went back to the town, neighborhood and house where I was repeatedly sexually abused by my cousin. It was scary and anxiety producing, both going into it and being there again. But, it was also a very concrete way to see and really know that my abuse had a real time and place. It was validating, but was mostly just very, very empowering and it freed up parts of me that hadn't been in years. It wasn't a cure all, fix everything experience, I still struggle with CSA issues, but it did help. I can understand why you've considered tackling this.

Whatever you decide, for what it's worth, I wish you the best.