Ok, I'll bite on the mother question.
Early in therapy for sex addiction, my T asked a lot of questions about my family background, sexual messaging growing up, etc. ALOT of questions that irritated me.
At the next session, my wife was present and my T says he thinks I was taught to be "heterophobic"!
Looking back, I can recite a laundry list of incidents where I was shamed out of sexual feelings towards heterosexual sex. Male sexuality was just not welcome around the women in my family, and I adopted those beliefs that "men are dogs", women think "sex is disgusting", making out with a girl was "inappropriate", etc. etc.
All those early beliefs and experiences I had to vomit up out of my deep inside self-those were not MINE. They belonged to others in my family and I needed to make room for my own authentic sexuality without other's imposed beliefs, shame, or hang-ups.
Gradually my body without these ideas and beliefs, and WITHOUT resorting to sex (porn, Ma*(*bation, etc.) - my body began to wake up to a new authentic, physical and integral sexuality.
Only by abstaining for a period of intense self-examination and reflection on my sexual history and origins did this happen.
Funny enough, the csa piece remained suppressed until several years later when my perp died and my father had passed-I think family loyalty and a deep feeling of un-safety kept the csa piece buried until I was strong and free enough to face it.
We have to take responsibility for what we're not responsible for.
�It doesn't matter where you've come from,
It matters where you go" Frank Turner