Saturday night I watched the scandalous film: Mommy Dearest. It is the story of actress Joan Crawford, as taken from a book written by her daughter. It is the story of a very narcissistic mother and how she related to her child.

Because of Joan Crawford's narcissistic personality disorder, she was unable to be a nurturing mother. Instead she would show white-hot anger if the children failed to admire her or do what she said. This is dynamite to the child. The children were "possessions" like little statues on the mantle.

The film brought out tremendous emotions in me as I watched the interaction between the mother and the daughter, and the little boy. The daughter's name is Christine. Christine has written a book about Joan Crawford with the same name as the movie: Mommie Dearest. Because I also had an older sister, I saw myself as the boy in the film. This is called "projection" I projected myself into the film very powerfully. The time setting of the children in the film is very close to my own. The color of her car was identical to the color of our family Buick.

We didn't live in a lavish palace as Joan Crawford did, but we lived in middle-class homes. With one exception. During the war there was a great fear that the Japanese might invade California. Therefore real estate on the coast was cheaper so my parents were able to live on an island which today is populated by illustrious movie stars. Even at that time there were bunches of movie stars living there. I'm told that John Wayne lived a few blocks away. The actress Billie Dove lived down the street with her husband, Robert Kenaston. They had a son called Bobby a few years older than I was. I ran around with Bobby and another boy.

I was almost 4 years old. My Mother sent my sister and me down the street to borrow a cup of sugar from Billie Dove. I think she wanted to impress Billie with her two children. This is how narcissists think. They are always calculating; trying to figure out how to maneuver or impress somebody. That was the incident that resulted in abuse I describe in Pufferfish story part 1.

Joan Crawford as portrayed in the movie reminded me of my own mother. They were both extreme narcissists. A narcissist is someone who is very preoccupied with their own appearance and their own importance. Needless to say, they don't make good parents. A heavily narcissistic mother will compel her children to admire her. She will have little sensitivity to their needs. If the children fail to admire her sufficiently, she will perceive it as "evil" or bad. She will punish that behavior heavily. This was very well brought out in the film.

So here I am. The son of a very narcissistic mother. But she was more than that. I'm pretty sure now that she also had DID (previously known as MPD). So only one of her personalities (or alters) was narcissistic. I think she had other alters such as depressive/abused, paranoid, and perfectionistic.

Mother resembled Joan Crawford somewhat. Mother may have been copying the star's hair and makeup styles because it was all terribly familiar to me. One scene in the movie shows Crawford wearing a grotesque paste at night. They did that to reduce facial wrinkles. It is kind of funny because it looks like a Halloween mask. I remember my mother doing that. Mother also had some little paper strips like tan postage stamps that she glued onto her face at home to get rid of wrinkles.

Is all of this hard to believe? I'm going to try to write more about it. I'll put it in the Mother Abuse Forum.


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