Hello all. I am new to this forum and very thankful that I found it. I have been in a monogamous relationship with a man for three months. Initially, it was apparent that there were some sexual issues, ED, etc. During one of these instances, my partner told me that the reason he may have some "issues" is because his first sexual encounter was with a male babysitter, rather that's what I was able to gather from what he described to me. I told him I was very sorry that that had happened to him and that I'm there for him no matter what. I asked how old he was at the time, and he said too young, and I said it wasn't your fault. He said "don't worry, I'm not damaged goods or anything. I'm over it." and I said, I know you're not damaged goods, but that's a really tough thing to go through and its okay to talk about it. He said he didn't want to talk about it, and we haven't since. Fast forward. We're moving in together. We have a wonderful relationship based on love and trust. However, I have learned that he has 2 different moods: sweet and loving, and angry and closed off. He can become angry and closed off on the drop of a dime. He acknowledges this, and says that I "handle" him well. He lashes out at people, can be distant to new acquaintances, says he doesn't feel "sexy", complains about his body, and has had addictions such as drinking and smoking. He also has a very distant and strained relationship with his family, although he works with family. I am now seeing that these may be a result of undealt with issues relating to the sexual abuse experience that he mentioned. I love my boyfriend, and I want to be there for him, but the relationship is still new and we're embarking on a very serious path. I'm concerned that when we move in together, these 'symptoms' may become even more pronounced.
I would be so grateful for advice from partners/spouses who have been in similar situations. Do I proceed with an open heart? Do I proceed with caution? I know I cant force him to talk about it or get help, but I love him, and I don't want these issues to tear us apart.