Mr Compassion,
Those thoughts and feelings are to be expected based on what I've seen in your posts so far. It has nothing to do with her and everything to do with you> I think you may know this.

The issue is how you see her and women in general. To overcome this you will have to work to change the way you look and think about women. When you come to see them as being equal to yourself, a full person just like you allowed to do the same things you can, then it won't be such a problem.

As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.