Actually, I don't think I disagree with anything you've suggested. All adults entering into consentual sexual relations should take equal responsibility to stay, and play safely. No doubt about it in my mind.
However, where a person deliberately conseals, or lies about their HIV status, I think the question of intent arises.
As I'm sure you know, in our country, even spitting on someone can be seen as an assault. I don't think it was always this way before the 80's, but it is certainly seen as an assault now. In my mind, mostly due to the HIV factor.
I think knowing that one is infected, and deliberately lying about, or consealing that fact does constitute an assault. Otherwise, the newly exposed person who becomes so without taking their own precautions not only becomes exposed, but is also blamed for being the victim.
Just my 2 cents on a warm Sunday evening...
PS Did you see the blurb I put up about The Men's Project film premiere?