I agree with the other guys, if it's not working out tell her what your expectations are or ask her what her therapy style is and what she hopes to accomplish with it. If you're uncomfortable with that type of confrontation (as I certainly would have been early on in my therapy) then maybe a different therapist is needed. I talked to two different therapists before I found one that I could really talk to. The first one sat in a chair all the way across the room and mumbled, seemed totally indifferent and aloof. I paid him $100 and never saw him again. The next guy had never worked with a male survivor and seemed more lost than I was. The third guy had dealt with adult male survivors and in the second session suggested that I read Mike Lew's book, "Victims No Longer". He loaned me one of his copies and I thought that it was written for me. I'd never believed that anyone else had gone through what I had and did the things that I did.

I'd always felt that I couldn't talk to a female therapist about all the crap that went on in my life so I chose only male therapists. I've since talked to a few women therapists at the rape crisis center that I volunteer at and I'm in a frame of mind now that I'll talk to just about anyone who cares to talk about it. You might call up a local rape crisis intervention center in your area to see if they have any therapists that they could recommend who deal with male survivors of childhood SA.

Lloydy and I must have twin therapists. My therapist seldom says anything but he does ask me questions that require me to delve deeper into my thought processes each time. He only talks about lighter topics when I'm heading out the door. I understand more about myself now and it's a lot easier to deal with the day to day BS without going off the deep end and doing something that I would certainly regret in the next instant.

Just to reinterate, trust is the big issue, I had to be able to trust the person I was talking to before I could really open up. Sometimes I just feel that I can't trust someone and I go with that feeling. I hope this helps you out.

Take good care of yourself,


I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center.
Kurt Vonnegut (1922-2007)