My best friend was the first person I ever told about my CSA. To make a long story short, the middle of last year I moved away for a few months. Call it a long summer vacation that I took to try and sort my head out and find out what I wanted to do with my life. When I returned, he didnt want anything to do with me. While I was away I think he decided he didn't want to be friends with someone as fucked up as I am.

I haven't seen or spoken to him for around 9 months. Today I seen him for the first time since we were best friends, I'm not sure if he seen me though.

It triggered me really badly, as bad as what my csa used to trigger me. I don't know why. He was the only one I felt comfortable talking to and now i feel terrified when I see him.

Whats wrong with me?