I'm sorry about this post not pertaining to anyone who was abused as an adult, for this relates entirely to CSA:
I've had this thought I've been entertaining of late; Have you ever thought, I mean REALLY though of just WHO you were before you were sexually abused?
I was bright, gifted, a proud non-conformist, all the more determined in the prospect of failure, and CONFIDENT in my abilities to surmount almost any obstacle.
Not too long ago, my dad wrote
of how, one day, when I was very young, was having difficulty learning how to skate in the ice. It was a brand new experience for me, and it was like learning how to walk all over again. He offered his hand to help me, but I refused. I insisted that I could do it myself, and I was only 6 years old! I was independent. I didn't go to my parents for help with anything. I did things on my own.
When I was in 2ond grade, I remember having memorized every major organ in the human body, I remember learning all the bones in the body, I remember having dreams and aspirations of becoming a surgeon. I wanted to operate on people. I had dreams.
About a year later, I was sexually abused for the most of a summer between 3rd and 4th grade. The result? My life. Such a waste. (I know that some of you will suggest otherwise, but this is how I feel about me)
How about you guys? What kind of boy were you?