Another thought to consider is whether masturbation might be a way of subconsciously avoiding dealing with your sexuality directly. If you are always releasing the biological "pressure", the real desire may never build to such a crescendo that it requires your full undivided attention.
This is exactly right for me - my circumstances and issues. Thanks for putting this in front of me again.
And another thing you said -
To check all this out may I suggest an experiment? For an entire week, tie up your "friendly" hand to the bed and see what happens. If your other hand learns to compensate, then you might need to immobilize him, too, in some way. You're smart, I'm sure you can figure something out. Go ahead and scoff all you naysayers! I can almost hear you laughing. I think the results might be very interesting and I'm being perfectly serious. We'll talk later.
Once upon a time, I did something very similar. I didn't tie my hands. I went to bed each night wearing a pair of briefs, followed by a pair of tight longjohns, then a pair of athletic shorts with drawstring tied tight, then a pair of sweats also with drawstring tied tight.
I was determined to abstain for two weeks. If I "slipped", in the shower for instance, I reset the two week clock.
After about a month, as I approached my two week goal, I met someone in a deli, and began a very pleasant relationship. Although short-lived, it is fondly remembered, and was very positive, passionate, and both physically and emotionally satisfying.
Talk about results
. Once again, thanks for reminding me of things I know
I've been staying off-line the past month or so specifically to stay away from porn and marathon masturbation. It is interesting to note that the major issues that were tearing me up a month ago have been largely resolved now. Did the effort required to resolve them help divert me from net porn or did abstaining from the net allow me to make the efforts? Probably a little of both. In much the same ways that negative feelings and actions feed off each other, it seems that positive, affirmative feelings and actions do also.
I have located an SAA group nearby, and I'll be giving that a try if I start to feel I'm regressing in my goals. To paraphrase Mel Brooks, in "The History of the World, Part 1", "It's good to have a goal!"
It's possible that this is exactly perfect for where you are in your development right now.
This was true for me, but that time is past. Like so many defenses or other compensatory behaviors, the time is past and it's just not working anymore.
For me, moving on is the obvious next step, and your words have inspired me.
Thanks very much.
And thanks to Mike for starting this thread. It seems to be a core issue for so many of us.
Take care all,