Originally Posted By: faller2

I also become sexually aroused when I get depressed and highly anxious; so there's a masochistic payoff to feeling bad about myself, which reinforces my poor self-image. Any help?

Hey there Brother faller2.

I am glad you have joined us. this reminds me of the self hatred I have come to know lately. Finding it's root and being able to put it down has been a blessing. That said, I went through decades of depression and isolation... I would cycle up and down, and on my down cycles I would get aroused and feel entitled to seek sexual release... I came to see that I when I was down and dropping I was in a state of fear and that I was confusing fear with arousal. Hell the only acceptable emotion in my upbringing was fear !!!!!!!!! keep seeking your truths and what is available of the whys and wherefores... put the whys and wherefores behind forgiving yourself. *** self forgiveness is a blessing that I missed for ages *** I have found that when I am not beating myself up for my mistakes I am more available to healing from my higher power.

Love, Wes

Happy to be a recovering survivor. :-)

Continuing to meet more of my fellows as I "Trudge the Road of Happy Destiny".

My Story, 1st pass