I have had this open to reply for quite some time... I was moved to reply but did not feel I was worthy to reply to you and my experience does not line up where I can relate to your pain experientially.
My Brother, all I know is that I am to encourage you to ask God as you understand God to guide you through this time in your life. You have something great to give.
Happy to be a recovering survivor. :-)
Continuing to meet more of my fellows as I "Trudge the Road of Happy Destiny". My Story, 1st pass