I can't believe it. I thought they were all gone. But yesterday I was driving my wife and I home from the craft store. I decided to cut through the mall parking lot. Well conected to the parking lot is a apartment complex that is for those 50 plus. Well I noticed this guy walking across and I drive on by... then on impulse I immediatly turn the car around and stop. My wife is wondering what is going on. And I said "Thats Larry - the guy who started everything"...the things he did to me were terrible. Without even thinking I said I was going to run him over! I was not moving the car but my wife took ahold of the sterring wheel anyway. I calmed down and we drove home. Then it came back to me that I had been told that he lived there but I had forgotten. Now I have been having so many emotions run through me. Yesterday I just curled up on the floor after getting out of the shower and cried. Seeing him has brought on some flashbacks again. I want to just go and beat the living hell out of him. Or ram things up HIS ass! But I know I can't do that. This man was the guy who took me to a group on the next block who I later found out was a cult. The anger that has come up in me since seeing him has surprised me. I thought I had dealt with this.

Well I have to go. this is sometimes the only place where I feel I can say what I'm thinking. Yet right now words are not enough to express this pain I feel going through me.