Thank you Rob.
But I do have something to say about the marriage thing. Both people have a responsibility to it. You're owning up to your part of the contract. Lorie, it seems, has dug her heels in and is not working for tomorrow, but rather looking at all the wrongs of yesterday. I get it, I understand the visceral reactions, the anger, the F*** you attitude. I get where that's coming from, but doing wrong to you because of wrongs you've done to her doesn't solve anything, does it?
My brother is going through a horrible time right now and his marriage is blowing up for many of the same reasons, sans csa, at least as far as I know. It's hurting him so badly and it's hurting their kids in ways they're both too blinded by hurt to see.
It's easy for me to sit back and watch the implosion with all kinds of advice coming out of my mouth, but whether it's right or not, I'm not in it so take this for what it's worth. You're willing and wanting to heal, both yourself and your marriage. If Lorie isn't willing to do that too then you're screwed. You both have responsibilities to each other and your family. Continuing the marriage for another 10-15 years with swapped roles of who is a jerk (for lack of a better word) and who's not is not going to work.
I hope she'll help herself and you make it work.
If you fall down 10 times, Stand up 11.