I woke up this morning at 7:30, stupid dreams, 6 hour's is not enough. Went out and did my crossword, read the paper. Came home for 10 am and started drinking. Why? I've been told over and over I need to stop this but I just need to get the fuck out, I need to get away from head.

Why? why is it still unbarable to even spend any time with my head.

I can do it, I can quit alchohol, done it before but I was young and naive. I thought things would get better, I thought it was the answer to all my problem's. Just quit and everything will go up from there. I'm back.

What the hell is it that I need to be okay with myself? To be "okay" with what my head is saying?

He doesn't shut up, he won't ever shut up, can't he just be quiet for a little bit so I can have some peace a bit each day. I'm not understanding why he needs medication to shut up.

What will make him shut up, I thought it was info, shit, I got fucking info. Not much left it seems that makes me say, oh okay, now I see.

What am I missing?

Stay strong