Here's the response I got from my parents after the state turned down my abusing brother's adoption. This happened after I called DSS and told them to consider my perp's history.
This is a difficult e-mail and it demonstrates their denial - raging denial. I share it for a couple of reasons.
1. I'd like to support in laughing at this. It's so absurd.
2. I hope others can see how deep denial can be in their families. This shit is real and deep.
3. I'll need help in walking away from this. It's not as bad as I thought, but it's awful nonetheless. My job, and you can help, is to walk tall, take care of my self and my inner child, and get love and support from brothers like all of you.
For context, Danny was the boy my brother, Ben, was trying to adopt.
Here's the email:
Danny won our hearts. We fell in love with him. He ran “super fast” down the stretch of our beach. His new green bike was “super cool”. He snuggled with me on the living room couch. In a short period of time, he gave us so much joy. Rather than “welcoming a child with open hearts and love”, you double-crossed Ben and abused our trust. You have not protected a child; you have hurt Danny. You have deprived him of the loving and secure home that we were looking forward to giving him.
Unlike Danny, you had choices. You made decisions and acted. Your failure to engage us in your decisions shows disdain for us and for the value of family. Your behavior is perceived by us as angry, thoughtless, and vindictive. As a result of your decisions and actions, you have alienated yourself from us and abandoned our family.
Is this the “recovery process” you told us in February that you were pursuing? To us it has taken the form of a selfish act of vengeance; Danny is the victim.
We told you that there was nothing you could do to make us stop loving you. This will always be true, but we need not agree with or condone your actions. “Hate the sin, not the sinner.”
At the point that you can deal with feelings other than your own, perhaps we can reconsider next steps in reconciling with you.
M & D
Edited by NWcats (05/22/08 05:20 AM)
*** WOR Alumni Sequoia March 2008 ***
*** Alta Advanced Weekend September 2008 ***
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