Sean it was abuse plain and simple and coming from your perp made it all the worse.
As a small child and growing up I was always the kid taken to the woodshed to get the crap beat out of me. Whippings, broken bones, cuts and the whole nine yards. There was no sexual assault but it sure played hell with my sense of self worth and what I was good for. Had no friends cause they did not want to get caught in the line of fire. It kind of set me up for what happened later at Military College.
Sean it took me a long time to realize that it was not my fault and that I had worth. I thought it was the only way to get attention and, would you believe it love, as a child. Pisses me off now
IT REALLY IS OK TO STUMBLE. NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.