When I was 7 we went on vacation with my aunt, step uncle & my 3 cousins to a resort outside of Edmonton
There was this miniature roller coaster I really wanted to ride
I got separated from everyone else by my step uncle
(I am not sure how exactly, but my parents never really kept a close watch on me
I rode the bus alone to & from both playschool & kindergarten,
sitting right behind the bus driver who knew my stops)

My step uncle took me to a steam bath
I remember playing with his "secret"
There were several old men there who got closer
I got scared & dissociated
It was dark & I couldn't really see what was happening
I was straddling my step uncle
I remember him speaking Hungarian in my ear
I just concentrated on that roller coaster
When I did get to ride it later it wasn't any fun

My dad travelled a lot with work & sometimes my mother would join him
My step uncle looked after me once when I was 9
He took me to a closed circuit boxing match
I remember being in a big indoor stadium
The yelling of the crowd & the black & white images of men beating the shit out of each other
He bought me a drink which I remember didnt taste "good"
I came to in a motel room with a cock in my mouth & one in my ass
A man was taking pictures
I lost consciousness again

In retrospect I was frequently sick as a child
Tonsilitis several times a year & always had problems with constipation
I had my tonsils out when I was 21
I had to have an anal dilation when I was 23 because bowel movements almost always caused bleeding
I had been sexually active with men for a couple of years infrequently
The doctor that performed the dilation told me before I went under that it usually resulted from sexual abuse at a young age
I hadn't made that connection yet & wouldn't for another 5 years

:: "Anyone who can handle a needle convincingly can make us see a thread which is not there" ::