Third, and this is the idea that I'd REALLY like survivors to comment on because I am unsure about it. But, since you are away at college, what about writing him a letter? I know you probably talk to him on the phone and e/mail, but in a letter you could put some of the things he needs to hear (that others have posted) and he can take it out and read it whenever he needs to. For my H, reading that type of information is a lot safer and has more impact than hearing it. In letter form, it can be received as more of a gift.

This is a great idea. One of my great fears as a boy was that my father didn't love me and would throw me out if he found out I was being abused, and that lingering fear was with me for many years. It made all the difference to me to look at old letters I had received from him, especially the one he wrote to me when I finally struggled through and graduated from college. He said he was proud of me and that my graduation meant the world to him. Talk about a gift!

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)