I think it's "Allies in Healing" that mentions the "glacial pace" at which recovery occurs. My question is, why MUST this be? Surely, if we rationally know something to be other than we feel it, we can think our way into different behavior? Rationally, I know it's not my wife who caused my abuse, yet I often put her in the same "can't be trusted" category as my abuser. My subconscious often wins the battle. I know, I know...we develop defense mechanisms as a child that save us, but no longer work as adults. As an adult, I KNOW this is the case, but it doesn't necessarily translate to how I behave. I can feel things changing inside me, but that doesn't necessarily translate to any expression of change outwardly. It's fear that keeps us down, but if we rationally know that the fear is stale, that we're NOT going to get raped, surely there must be some way we can move along at a faster pace (something not in the geological time frame). I'm not talking about getting around the problem, I'm talking about going through it without wasting time worrying about things that cannot possibly do us harm.

I'm interested in hearing about things you may have done to speed up the process, not statements about how we must accept this. I don't accept it. I guess I'm just angry. I didn't ask for this crap, and I want to fix it ASAP!

If a man's character is to be abused, say what you will, there's nobody like a relation to do the business.
- William Makepeace Thackery