Well, its reared its ugly head again. About 3-4 months ago, I got new neighbors, been lucky that I've only seen them out 2 times since then, the father gave me a wave once and I was fine, but I had no warning I didn't have any time to freak out or anything. The next time was a big deal, the teenage son (I haven't gotten a good look at him to figure his age..not that I'm any good at that anyway) came out to shovel the snow we had on Friday, and I was out there too. I totally freaked out and went back in the garage then I snuck to do the walk where his view of me would be blocked by the house. When I'm finished, I started freaking out and froze as I heard him shoveling. I'm standing with a shovel in hand in the freezing rain for 10 minutes freaking out. I then went and snuck back into the garage and "took a break" for over an hour, then I looked outside and he was finished. I finished up the driveway.

Even though I know as my therapist says "Not to make you feel bad but (he/she)'s not really paying attention to you", I just can't shake it. I've always thought that it was because I didn't want people to get to know me because I am ashamed of myself, but that doesn't make sense, I'm moving and I'll be out of here probably by the end of April, maybe early May and I'll never see them again.


"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"

"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"

"You don't know what love is...you just do as your told"

"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"