My world is crashing down around me. I found a small table spoon, like the one i remember my mom using to shoot up, next to a small straw that was cut in half, like people use to freebase heroin, and a small plastic container filled with a black substance that i cant quite identify, but could very well be a few hundred bucks worth of black tar herion. It was just lying there in the cabinet we keep all our glasses and pills in. How the hell could i have missed that for so long? I think my mom and/or her boyfriend are getting wasted on heroin, and if its him, then she knows.

Just a couple more months, then me and my friend will have saved enough money to leave together.

I have always felt like my reason for living was change my world into a better place. It was all i ever had to hope for. And i dont think thats ever going to change, because ill never forget the attrocities i've seen, and i dont want to live in a world where there is no hope for kids who are tortured by thier parents, people slaughter each other without thier deaths meaning anything, and i aspire to live in a world that is just and truly free. I help myself by creating a better world and striving to grow and change. Thats my reason for living, and its what has kept me alive in a what can be a very cruel world, and reminds me that it can be even more buetiful.

Thats all i really want to say right now. thanks for listening.