Originally Posted By: kellygtx
I am angry because
I sat silently counting floor tiles
or staring blankly at the ceiling
and for cutting myself
…to free myself
and for not having the courage
to simply be me

Abuse devastates a boy emotionally as well as physically. There's just no way a 10-year-old could have defended himself, and that really did leave you with nothing to do except check out of the situation - blank out and count tiles, as you say.

And as for courage, shouldn't we say that any boy who survives abuse must have one hell of a lot of courage just to continue on with his life?

I hope you can be a bit more gentle with yourself. It isn't you who is to blame for any of this. That's not so easy to see sometimes, but it really is the truth.

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)