After my overdose I spent years off of meds. This was not a good thing because I self medicated with whatever I could get, mostly alcohol which is a depressant. I still thought of having to take meds to feel normal/good was a bad thing and did not want to live that way.
It took 3 years to get where I am today and for the most part I'm happy. I hope one day I will be able to get off meds but in the mean time its a vital part of my recovery. I have to learn new ways to deal with life. There is no shame in having to take meds its just the way it is.
Part of the reason I left my 12 step group was the guilt and shame that I felt because I was on meds. Its not in the program itself its the attitude of many of the people there who think taking any medication besides an aspirin is not being sober. This does not help when I already struggle with the fact I have to take them in the first place.
I feel 90% better about it now that I left the group and I'm working more with my therapist more often. My depression is not even close to what it was a month ago and I'm dealing better with life.
As you can tell by my long posts this has been an issue for a long long time. and I could write pages on it.
Do what you have to do to take care of yourself and don't feel less than anyone else because you have to take meds. there are millions of people who take them to survive, depression is no different.

I'm a normal person dealing with abnormal experiences.
The greatest discoveries we will find within ourselves.
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