Hi, my boyfriend is a survivor and I am here on this site to learn about that experience so I can be a little more understanding. He is amazingly kind and sweet except in the bedroom, where everything has to be his way or he gets turned off. His way is really rough and not only causes me to get sore, but leaves me feeling left out. Whenever I try to show him what I like (because it has been unsatisfying for me) he has some excuse to stop. Sometimes when we fight about it (the only thing we fight about), he says things like I made him lose his sexual desire.

I don't know if this makes sense to any of you or if you could help me make some sense of it. I really want to connect with him, but sometimes it is almost like he is involved in his own compulsive ritual. It feels like he has to act what he thinks is masculine to make up for what he went through.

Edited by lia (11/28/07 08:59 PM)