Here's some of what I don't talk about:
Every day I still struggle with the pain.
Every day I am lonely.
Every day I feel the sting of my experiences and my fears and my sadness.
Every day I question myself, question my courage, my intelligence, my passion, and my hopes.
Every day I spent at least a part of feeling like a failure.
Every day I wonder why no one loves me.
Every day I have a part of that just wants to curl up on the couch and cry, but I never can.
Every day I wonder why I fight so hard.
Every day I have to remind myself that I am good (some days it's not so easy, either).
I hate all of this. I used to hate me because of it. I don't any longer, and I know that that is a big step and sure sign that I'm healing. But it's not easy. I wish these thoughts and feelings would just go away, but they don't.
Chris: you have a way with words that strike those cords within me. Thanks for expressing what I feel. I know that I am better now because these thoughts and feelings are not nearly as loud now.