I just wanted to thank each of you for being there when I needed someone. Funny how trying to sort through my spouse's issues has me facing my own and looking at life through much different eyes. Being forced to make decisions reguarding the CSA actually gave us the courage to make other decisons we felt paralyzed to make before hand. And we dealt for the first time with a lot of underlying issues in our marriage that we hadn't even acknowledge before.
Things with those we love and try to support may not always turn out the way we wished they would, but somehow in the midst of it all, we find strength and purpose we never knew we had.
Yeah, sometimes it's scary thinking about what the future holds. We have only begun our journey and I know it will get worse as he dredges up all the things he tried so hard to leave behind. But we can make it together.
He looks at his past and sees shame and sadness. I see the sadness, but I also see a strength that most people will never be able to admire. You see all these shows on tv about men surviving in the wild, in extreme weather, etc... but what about what csa survivors live through every day for years? I am daily amazed how the human body will respond to protect itself. Not that the aftermath years down the road is any fun, but considering the alternatives, it it amazing. It reminds me of a documentary I saw once about forest fires and how trees with very strong roots would be able to survive forest fires. Often they were charred and trunks were damaged, but they were able to survive none the less. And they even adapted to outlast droughts. Just remembered this this morning...
Also a special thank you to all the survivors whose honesty and transparency are healing to those here and sometimes challenging to us partners who scavenge the boards here trying to make sense of what our loved ones are experiencing. This place may not be perfect, but it is like a microcosm of humanity, really. There is a lot of ugliness out there as ya'll know, but there is a lot of beauty too.
May you all grow strong roots and thick bark,
Edited by violet (11/09/07 12:37 PM)
I was silent as a child, and silenced as a young woman; I am taking my lumps and bumps for being a big mouth, now, but usually from those whose opinion I don't respect. - Sandra Cisneros