I was invited to and visited a cousin of mine, he’s married, 7 kids, (catholic, no birth control). We (my Uncle Dave, my cousin Dan and his wife and I) were having tea at the dining room table as is customary whenever we visit. His youngest 3 kids were at the table with us. Peter is the youngest at 7 or 8 years old.

I might have been triggered by looking at him I think. His spontaneity and personality were in stark contrast to the way I acted at his age. He was comfortable with his surroundings, he was extroverted in his manners, and he was happy. So……with this in mind I couldn’t help but study him. But when ever I observed him, he like IMMEDIATELY looked right back at me in my eyes and I had to look away every time. For the life of me I couldn’t maintain eye contact with him, let alone start talking to him.

It was weird; I was honestly feeling intimidated by him, as if he could see right through me, like I was transparent and not fooling him. I was not comfortable there. I’m guessing that he was just as curious about me but…………hell I don’t know. Has this ever happened to any of you guys?

The whole time I was there, I noticed that these kids were as "normal" as they can get. Happy, talkative, comfortable, inquisitive, funny, laughing, all that. I know I wasn't like that at that age, I'm happy for them, but I also envy them.