Originally Posted By: Woundedheart
My love language is physical touch and quality time. I fear being touched and it seems like noone cares or are to busy to spend time. I would say, I am in a state of depression.

A line straight out of my journal, Richard.

Originally Posted By: MemoryVault
I'd worry about a group that bonds mainly over painful memories and flashbacks.

David, if I gave this impression, I apologize. It's not like they have "bonded" over memories - they haven't even done anything to make me feel like an outsider. I just don't feel like I belong there - but it's not because of what they're doing. Last night's group centered around memories, and it just compounded my feelings of isolation.

Originally Posted By: trusty
Also, I tend to agree with David about the group work...if it is not contributing to your well being...maybe it is not for you at this juncture in your healing.

ouch. I'm not sure which is worse. not fitting in, or not going at all.

Originally Posted By: trusty
think maybe--as hard as this is going to sound--the one memory that sends you into panic mode might be your best option...your only entrance into finding what you are after.

Unfortunately, Russ, I tend to agree. When my T gets back from his trip, hopefully we'll get into that possibility. He says we're going to "open the door, pause, then close it" without really going into what's there - in order to help little Mark understand I can control the situation, and we can venture further "into the dark, scary place".

All this input is helping, truly. I just have been spiraling downhill for weeks and isolation lately has seemed like the only option open for me - and like Richard said - that option just adds weight to the depression.