Two years into my recovery and I was reminded yesterday about “the basics”. By that I mean taking the power away from the abuser and learning (and trying to apply) the fact that the abuse is in the past and I am allowed to live today without it crippling me.
I have a new therapist after my first one moved on after working with me for 15 months. I’m still trying to adjust and see if I will want to stay with this new T but as part of getting a new T you have to go back to the beginning and tell your story all over again.
I knew this would have to happen and yesterday was part of that. The positive thing that came out of it – not that it was pleasant going over hurtful stuff again, was that as she said, the more I tell the story (to trusted people, in safe environments) the less the pain should be and the less hold it should have over me.
I ‘understand’ what she is saying, accept it, and look forward to that happening but I’m not at that place yet.
The good thing is that I can see it as a possibility. It reminds me of the basics. The abuser has no more power over me (easily said, not to easily done). I am accepting of that fact though and look forward to it.
Many others here at MS have shared how they have told others about their abuse. I’ve admired the bravery but could never see myself ever doing that. Now I can see a time when that may happen. It’s a future possibility for me that I never contemplated before.
Of course there needs to be a reason to disclose and I won’t necessarily be looking for one but if circumstances arise at least I’m now think I might be able to do this one day in the future.
The basics are good to remember.