Hi guys,

Just wondering, is it possible that a survivor could be married for 15 yrs or so and never realize he's got a problem w/ intimacy, communication, etc., that is not normal, but instead could genuinely believe it is his wife who has the shortcomings?

In other words, does a survivor always feel different and know something is not right w/ himself, or do they think everyone feels the way they do (or that everyone is numb like them, say for instance), and so something must be wrong w/ "the other person" or spouse?

I am trying to figure out whether my H genuinely believes it when he tells me our problems are b/c I don't do what he asks (get a job quickly) etc., or whether it's a smokescreen, that he does really know it's him that has a very debilitating problem (caused by csa) contributing to the difficulties in the relationship (lack of intimacy, never being able to simply discuss something b/c his underlying anger always turns it into him yelling at me, etc.) and would rather not admit that?

Know what I mean?


It were better for him that a millstone were hanged around his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones.
Luke 17:2