someone told me the other day that i am manipulative. to me, this has all these negative meanings and its not very nice to be called this. so i thought about it and even went as far as to look up the exact meaning. "skillful in influencing or controlling others to your own advantage." then im like.... yeah i totally do that. i didnt realize that i do that in everyday life, and that can still be debated, but that is totally something i picked up when i was hustling. the more you can sway a guy to pay you more or even trying to get him to want certain things instead of other unfavorable options... i think thats a good thing, no? if i am able to get more money from a guy i see that as a good thing. if i can make a guy want a blow job and not anal sex... possibily even for the same price... i think that's a good thing.

so okay.. i have this learned bahavior thing. but apprently its negative in everyday life. i still am not sure how i am manipulative now. like, i really don't see it. am i oblivious? is it so second hand that i don't know im doing it? and if i dont know im doing it, how do i change it?