So we broke down another (major) wall last night (with help from healingpartner <3) and I'm just so, so happy that he trusts me enough to tell me any of this. I can't (and won't) get into details, but I feel like one of the few remaining chasms between us has been crossed. He was worried that I'd be angry because he "lied" but I only felt relief. I knew something wasn't right and I could feel him pulling away from me. All I had to do was tell him that I wanted him to tell me whatever it was and wait.
Thankfully, healingpartner was there or else I doubt he'd have told me and would have instead sunk into a string of panic attacks. Thank you so, so, so much! I could sense his relief as well and we spent hours and hours just talking, and I got to know him so much better than before (and I thought I knew him so well! lol)
Anyway, I just wanted to share this little bright spot (as vague as it is, hehehe). I can only hope that I continue to keep and deserve his trust and that others on MS will be as fortunate.